They have never been my strong point. Their concept is a staple of the American Dream, its as ingrained into our collective subconscious as a vision of normalcy and success as the cliche apple pie and white picket fence. We're raised being told that if we take risks, we will reap greater rewards in every aspect of our life. It's puzzling, then, that for whatever reason, the glamorized, highly lauded leap of faith was never quite etched into my brain. Maybe there is some mechanism inside of me that simply did not accept such a risky value into my life. Maybe the child psychologists in charge of brainwashing ran out of Dawn and had to settle for the generic WalMart brand that doesn't
quite dissolve the grease like the real thing. The point is, I'm not very apt at taking leaps of faith. They
scare me. It's a colossal jump into the unknown, placing your fears and doubts to the wayside as you risk plunging into some sort of lifeless hell comparable only to a drive through Iowa. I realize that the risk and reward dynamic is what defines a leap of faith. They are supposed to be a scary, intimidating event in your life. If they didn't freak a person the fuck out they'd be hops of sound mind, or steps of confidence.
Lately, I've been doing my best to work on it. I figure if I can never make a decent leap of faith, I'll never be able live my life to the fullest. And last I checked, you only live once (unless you're Hindu or a fashion trend). I need to hold my breath, close my eyes and leap, removing the safety net from below me and allowing myself to plunge face first into real life. I'm going to take this life that's been given it to me and make it my bitch. It's easier said than done, but crazier and much more earth-shattering things have been known to happen. George W. Bush was elected president, Jesus rose from the dead and Ke$ha showered earlier this year (allegedly). I'm going to do something with my life, apathy and fear won't grab hold of me forever. They can suck it.
